Back in the fall (Short Story)

“I’ll be back in the fall.” He said as she clung on tightly to his hand that day. She didn’t want to let go. The so many times before when she never had to, she would, but this time she couldn’t build up the strength to. As she stood close to him she thought about how saying goodbye this time came with chances, risks that would break her heart to take…she had no choice though. His hand fell from hers and tears brimmed in her eyes as she looked down to the floor. She couldn’t bear if he saw her this way.

“I’ll be back in the fall.” He murmured again lightly, more to calm himself than to comfort her. He his heart dropped into his stomach as he felt the warmth fade away from his hand as the girl he loved let it go. He stared blankly at her, not seeing her face as she hid it from him. He regretted having to leave the one ray of hope in his life even for a second and now…it would be longer, much longer. He shook his head trying to clear away all the cold thoughts from his mind and touched her chin lightly, lifting her face to his. He kissed her gently feeling her lips quiver as she tried not to cry. She pulled away slowly, obviously not able to handle this hurt anymore. He knew she wouldn’t want him to see her this way. He left.

“I’ll be back in the fall.” Those words drifted in and out of her mind slowly staying longer each time. The months passed, but even so, each seemed like a year. Letters would come occasionally. He would tell her each time how much he missed her, how he was still okay and how he’d “be back in the fall”. Those re-assuring words did little good though. She wasn’t the same with out him. Even the beautiful summer days seemed like the most freezing of winter nights when his arms weren’t around her. She cried in their bed everyday and when she couldn’t cry anymore she still felt like she had no breath, as if the tears were still there, making her heart pound. Outside, in the real world, no one knew. She kept a false smile even though it hurt her. With each new smile her heart ached a little more. She tried to go on this way, only because she knew how much her loved her smile.

“I’ll be back in the fall.” He jotted down on the piece of stationary she bought for him the day she found out he was leaving. The bombs from miles away sounded softer as he faded into thoughts of her. She was his escape, from the pain of the day, from the pain of no longer being the same after all he had seen. The deaths of friends, comrades, people he even killed himself haunted him. He didn’t want to be this way, a hollow shell of what he once was, but it was impossible for him to go back to the old him. Except, when she was on his mind. He never told her how horrible he felt in his letters. He didn’t want to even think of tears in her eyes, tears like the ones he cried every night. He wanted to think…she’d smile. That smile he loved, the smile he’d die to see in the fall.

“I’ll be back in the fall.” She repeated to herself standing still, the words he told her oh so many months ago. Tears were coming out of her eyes as the breeze blew through her hair on that fall day. She knelt down to the ground crouching amongst the leaves that had fallen from the trees surrounding her. She had been outside at that very spot for hours, still not believing that he kept his promise…not in this way. Her hand gently touched the cold stone she was in front of. Her fingers moved along the engraving carved. It was his name and now she regretted that he was back in the fall.

Dedicated to all those who’ve lost a loved one in the line of duty.